turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
