Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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