im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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