what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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