I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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