I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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