You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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