New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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