It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
