I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
