WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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