Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
