If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
