i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
