I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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