friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
