i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
