we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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