Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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