I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
