Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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