At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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