I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
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I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.