The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.