Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh