It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
