____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
