Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
