omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
