He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
