He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
