help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
