she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
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He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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