It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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