shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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