Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
