I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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