drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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