who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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