I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i think my cat just said my name.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
