Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
