these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
