Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
