I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize