Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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