clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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