I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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