do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
