god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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