What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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