i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
