Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.