Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
