He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?