lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
