I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
