STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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