Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
