i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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