Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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