I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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