Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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