R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
